Positive outlook.

I've prided myself with a constant positive outlook on things. Maybe I'll chalk it up to a "benefit of the doubt" mentality, or my strong belief in karma. This is a recent (within the past 7 years or so) revelation, as those close to me know the serious relationship I had with depression, but I've come to embrace it. What's in the past has made me stronger, tomorrow is a brand new day, and I'll focus on things that only I can control and not let the rest bother me. You know... fun, corny stuff like that.

It's easy to grasp these concepts when it comes to others and what goes on around us. Yet we all are comfortable with the fact that "we are our harshest critics." This is wonderful to an extent. We have to live up to our own expectations, and try to keep the judgments and opinions of others at a safe, but reachable, distance. We're still *comfortable* with coming down hard on ourselves for having a bad day at work, not living up to social expectations, or never being happy with our body image. Why do we do this to ourselves? I don't feel the need to elaborate further.

I had one of these moments today. In typical female fashion, it had to do with body image. On a regular basis I look at myself in the mirror and, as most girls often do, pinpoint the one or two areas I'm not happy with, and sigh with despair. But I know that I need to take a deep breath and love what I have because I know there are parts of me that I find beautiful, and there are people in my life that find me beautiful in my sweats and my greasy-end-of-the-day-makeup. So as shallow and superficial as this may sound, my absolutely RIDICULOUS reality check came when I was in the dressing room at Old Navy, trying on a gorgeous top in size small, and cute jeans in size 2, and realizing that I've have to take them both home and shrink them a bit. Don't worry, it's times like these I mentally bitch-slap myself for thinking anything less of myself. :)

As selfish as this may sound - I sometimes feel the need to apologize to myself and others for insecurities like these. How am I supposed to teach others the value of positive self-image when I slip into these self-mutilating, criticizing thoughts? I know that I personally need to work on taking a deep breath and thinking positive thoughts, about myself and about the world around me, at multiple points throughout the day.

When all is said and done, I just want to tell everyone in this world that they are beautiful. And really, I mean EVERYONE. There is someone in this world that finds you beautiful. Head to toe, inside and out. And everyone needs to hear this on a regular basis. If you need help remembering that, I'm always here.

Disregard the time stamp. This is a *late night* post for me. Have a wonderful Sunday.

Love you all,

Jess