I'm sorry. I'll do better.

...at this whole blogging thing. The concept has grown to have different faces over the years. When I was younger, I would do it every day, sometimes more than that. I eventually felt the need to censor what I was writing, so blogging became an increasingly uncomfortable thing for me. In reading the very few entries I've posted in this new blog, I realized that writing came easier when I wasn't happy. Well I'm quite happy now, but I feel like there should still be things to write about?

I know. I'm overthinking things.

I feel like I'm living in a tiny box lately. Literally and figuratively. I literally cannot leave the house during the day, because I do not want my former employers/coworkers to know that I'm still living here. Not having a job and lounging around in sweats all day sounded fun for a while, but cabin fever is setting in. I've been so blessed to have been able to get out of the house for great lengths at a time, such as visiting everyone I love in California, and also spending a week and a half in Colorado with Dan's family.

But this is no way to live. I'm excited at the idea of starting school again, but with no income coming in, how am I supposed to make that happen? For those who haven't heard, it's now zoning in on 2.5 months of my being jobless, and I still haven't heard anything as to whether or not I'll have unemployment checks to rely on for income for a while. No, I haven't been looking for jobs, but that's because I really wanted to go to school. I'm finally considered a resident of the state of Washington for tuition purposes, but school is a whole lot more expensive up here than in California (I know that's hard to believe, California, but it's true), and how can I manage getting to classes when I can't leave the house? I know I'm not supposed to stress over things that are out of my control, but even the things that are within my reach seem so much bigger than me. I know the logical thing would be to move back home, not just for me, but to be near my family again. But I certainly can't leave Dan up here. Not after all that he's done for me.

Time is ticking. I think the answer right now is to not stress about finding answers. School has been on the back burner for a few years, one more quarter won't hurt. Until then, the brainstorming and soulsearching will continue. I've got plenty to keep me busy! Another week or so of finishing homemade Christmas presents. I'll be home for Christmas, before you know it.

There you go. Another blog post. Not so profound when I'm trying to make up for lost time, but I'll get back into the groove of things.

Love you all,

Jess